[mplpost] The stupidest thing I have ever done (aka - I thought turkeys could fly!)
Jack Cooper
jackcooper_listmail@rogers.com
Thu Nov 7 13:07:37 2002
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
------=_NextPart_000_003C_01C2865D.0F104440
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Okay, top this.
So I've been sent 1,600 mailing labels from the CD
complation company with the suggestion that I send
postcards to all the acoustic dj's about my presence
on the compilation and info for contacting me to
receive my current CD.
I shop around a bit, and find out the M&T instaprint=20
can do what I want for a fairly reasonable cost. I spend
many moments, like Wile E. Coyote on his latest
manice brainstorm, figuring out how to design the postcards
with my picture on one side and the pertinent info
on the other. I get the postcards back, do the math
in my head and figure I can't afford to send all of these
out. Plus, I've also sussed out that the Canadian database
has some glaring errors, so I focus on sending out the
roughly 1,000 U.S cards.
A little more math. 65 cents CDN to send postcard to the
US from Canada. 23 cents US (or approx. 35 cents CDN)
to send the postcard from Niagara Falls, NY. Seems like
a worthwhile road trip. I decide to go on a thursday (the day
after 9/11, for good luck.)
I spend a few hours at home applying the mailing labels on=20
the postcards at home. I drive to Niagara Falls, purchase
about 1,000 stamps and spend the next three hours applying
the adhesive-backed devils on to the postcards. Done at
1:30. Find a nice vegetarian restaurant in Niagara, have an
enjoyable lunch and head on back home to Kitchener.
The following monday .. my better half, D., calls and explains I've =
gotten a
few cards back. After a moment, I start sweating bullets. Let
me take a moment to explain my postcard layout to you.
My stamps are properly affixed on the upper right corner of the card. =20
The bottom of the text side of my card contains info about how
Black Eyed Susie is now featured on the current sampler .. blah,
blah, Jack's current CD features blah-blah, to receive the entire
CD, contact Jack (followed by e-mail and contact info).
I leave a large gap of space at the top centre of the card for the
recipient's mailing address. Part of my contact information, which
I considered incidental at the time, is my home address which=20
concidentally appears in small font near the bottom right of my card.
Result: I receive almost two-hundred cards that monday
apparently addressed to me! I receive about a hundred more
the next day! All told, I have efficiently sent about 500 postcards
to myself from Niagara falls. I could have driven the damn things
home myself!
I call the US postal service. I call Canada post. I explain, wheedle, =
whine,
beg, cajole, curse, flatter, plead temporary insanity. I point out that
logically, the cards should have never crossed the Canadian border
because I had insufficient postage for sending them outside of the U.S.
Isn't there anything they can do? Can't they run the cards through
a machine that removes all the magic stripes and bar codes? What
if I simply mark each card, "Return to Sender"?
All told, I spent about three hours on the phone with various agents=20
and leave with my tail firmly planted between my legs.
I decided to leave the non-U.S cards on my bedroom shelf.
Next?
Jack Cooper
------=_NextPart_000_003C_01C2865D.0F104440
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Diso-8859-1">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 5.50.4731.2200" name=3DGENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Okay, top this.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>So I've been sent 1,600 mailing labels =
from the=20
CD</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>complation company with the suggestion =
that I=20
send</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>postcards to all the acoustic dj's =
about my=20
presence</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>on the compilation and info for =
contacting me=20
to</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>receive my current CD.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I shop around a bit, and find out the =
M&T=20
instaprint </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>can do what I want for a fairly =
reasonable=20
cost. I spend</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>many moments, like Wile E. Coyote on =
his=20
latest</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>manice brainstorm, figuring out how to =
design the=20
postcards</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>with my picture on one side and the =
pertinent=20
info</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>on the other. I get the postcards =
back, do=20
the math</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>in my head and figure I can't afford to =
send all of=20
these</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>out. Plus, I've also sussed out =
that the=20
Canadian database</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>has some glaring errors, so I focus on =
sending out=20
the</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>roughly 1,000 U.S cards.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>A little more math. 65 cents CDN =
to send=20
postcard to the</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>US from Canada. 23 cents US (or =
approx. 35=20
cents CDN)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>to send the postcard from Niagara =
Falls, NY. =20
Seems like</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>a worthwhile road trip. I decide =
to go on a=20
thursday (the day</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>after 9/11, for good =
luck.)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I spend a few hours at home =
applying the=20
mailing labels on </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>the postcards at home. I drive to =
Niagara=20
Falls, purchase</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>about 1,000 stamps and spend the next =
three hours=20
applying</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>the adhesive-backed devils on to the=20
postcards. Done at</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>1:30. Find a nice vegetarian =
restaurant in=20
Niagara, have an</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>enjoyable lunch and head on back home =
to=20
Kitchener.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>The following monday .. my =
better half,=20
D., calls and explains I've gotten a</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>few cards back. After a moment, I =
start=20
sweating bullets. Let</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>me take a moment to explain my postcard =
layout to=20
you.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>My stamps are properly </FONT><FONT =
face=3DArial=20
size=3D2>affixed on the upper right corner of the card. =
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>The bottom of the text side of my card =
contains=20
info about how</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Black Eyed Susie is now featured on the =
current=20
sampler .. blah,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>blah, Jack's current CD features =
blah-blah, to=20
receive the entire</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>CD, contact Jack (followed by e-mail =
and contact=20
info).</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I leave a large gap of space at the top =
centre of=20
the card for the</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>recipient's mailing address. Part =
of my=20
contact information, which</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I considered incidental at the time, is =
my home=20
address which </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>concidentally appears in small font =
near the bottom=20
right of my card.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Result: I receive almost two-hundred =
cards that=20
monday</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>apparently addressed to me! I =
receive about a=20
hundred more</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>the next day! All told, I have =
efficiently=20
sent about 500 postcards</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>to myself from Niagara falls. I =
could have=20
driven the damn things</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>home myself!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I call the US postal service. I =
call Canada=20
post. I explain, wheedle, whine,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>beg, cajole, curse, flatter, plead =
temporary=20
insanity. I point out that</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>logically, the cards should have never =
crossed the=20
Canadian border</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>because I had insufficient postage for =
sending them=20
outside of the U.S.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Isn't there anything they can do? Can't =
they run=20
the cards through</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>a machine that removes all the magic =
stripes and=20
bar codes? What</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>if I simply mark each card, "Return to=20
Sender"?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>All told, I spent about three hours on =
the phone=20
with various agents </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>and leave with my tail firmly planted =
between my=20
legs.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I decided to leave =
the non-U.S cards on=20
my bedroom shelf.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Next?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2> Jack =
Cooper</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML>
------=_NextPart_000_003C_01C2865D.0F104440--
-
To unsubscribe: mail majordomo@icomm.ca with
"unsubscribe maplepost" in the body (not the subject line)
Need help? mail owner-maplepost@icomm.ca